Suicidal Big
by DarkSupaShadow
Summary: After acedentaily killing Froggy, Big decides to end his life. But he dosen't know how hard it his to commit suicde!


**hey guys. I saw this Big and Froggy thing so i made this  
**"FROGGY!!!!" A retarded voice rang through the Mystic Ruins. That was the voice of Big, and once again, he lost froggy. "FROOOOOOOGY!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed again. The fat purple cat had been looking for froggy everywhere. Big rubbed against the bruse on his head. He had been looking for Froggy and looked in a wrong place. Under Amy's dress. With that, he got a hammer to the forehead. Big then saw a small green figure. "FROOGY!!!!" Big screamed in happyness. He ran to to the frog, but then tripped on something. The frog looked a the behemon fall down like an oak twords him. Big landed on the ground, and then

I am sorry to interupt but this part is knda gross.  
if you are not interested in gore, skip along till you see it is settled.

Blood splattered on the cat as he landed. "Froggy?" Big looked around. He looked down. On his purple fur, layed blood and frog guts all over him. "Froggy?" Big asked to the blood on him. "FROGGY!!!!" Big screamed in horror. He had _Landed _poor froggy. _It is settled. _Big thought. _I must end my life _Big thought. And Big set on a mission to kill hisself. He went to the library and got a book entitled _How To Commit Suicide._ The first thing he read said to tie a rope to a tree. Then tie the end of the rope to make a noose, or loop, to fit around your neck. This method is called hanging. Big got everyone to come and watch him die. Big tied the rope around his neck while stading on a chair. "Everyone." Big began. "I have had you come today because-" and the chair collapsed under him. The rope worked perfectly. Big began to die, but the tree fell over because of his weight and Big got up. "DOH!" Big screamed. He had failed at hanging. In the next chapter at the book, it said to take a gun and point it to your head. Then you fire. This method is called self-inflicting gun shot. Big went to the gun shop and got a 45 magmum pistol. "Why do you need this?" The dark orange hedgehog who sold the guns said. "I killed Froggy. Now I kill my self." Big said dumbly. "Uhhh... ok."The hedgehog said. Big went home and got ready to die. He pulled the trigger. All he heared was a click. It turns out he forgot ammo. Big had ran out of rings so he gave up on that. Then, he saw in the book, a method called overdose. He would take drugs and it would kill him. In a few hours Big came home with three packs of cocaine. He took the drug and nothing happend. Why? Because Big put them in the wrong place. Up his ass.  
He had faied at over dose.

MEANWHILE.....

Shadow The Hedgehog was pissed off at Big for all this failing at suicide. When Big tried hanging hisself, Shadow brought his phone so he could tape this. insted, he got a failed suicide that was posted on myspace. He was watching _Criss Angel: Mindfreak _with his best friend, Twik. Twik was a deep orange hedgehog, who had quills like Sonic. At the tips of his quills were green. He head clothing Scourge would wear. Shadow was dressed like Criss Angel. I mean, the vest, the jewery, every thing.  
"Hey what do you think that stuppid cat is doing." Twik said. "I dunno, calling 1-800-SUICIDE." Shadow said laughing. "Why does he want to kill hisself any way." The orange hedehog wondered. "He killed his precious frog." Shadow said. "No c'mon. Lets stop thinking about that gay." Shadow said going back to the tv.

MEANWHILE..... again....

Big had thrown away the book and picked up the phone. He dailed 1-800-SUICIDE. "Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE. If you would like to self terminat by electric shock, press 1. If you would like to self terminat by over dose press 2. If you like to vist our drowning pool press three." The operator said, continuing her speech. Big pressed three and, holding the phone, he went to his room to get his bathing suit. Then, he was instantly transported to a pool. Wearing his speedos, (which were tiny, LOL) He jumped into the pool. "LET THE DROWNG BEGIN." The fake life guard said. The pool began to suck in it's victims, and the water. Big bobbed like a cork at the top. 2 hours later, the pool had sucked in every one, except Big. Big got out of the pool, and said, "I wanto get in electric chair." Big said. "NUMBER 1!!!" The fake life guard screamed and Big was transported. The fat cat was placed in a chiar with millions of wires and volts on it. A man was at a switch said, "Three, two one." And pulled the switch. But Bigs fat changed. It absored the volts and shot them out, electricuting the man at the switch, killing him almost instantly. Big was then transported home. So far, he hed failed at everything. Froggy, hanging, guns, drowning pools, drugs in his ass, electric chairs, and every thing. But Big got an idea. He could get SONIC to kill him! It was brilliant!

L8ER.....

Sonic was listening to his SonicX theme at his house, when there was a knock on the door. When he answered it there was Big. "Can you kill me." Big said to Sonic. Sonic smiled and turned into Super Sonic. He used his ultimte power on Big. Suddenly, Big's fat absorbed it and shot it back at Sonic. "Uh Oh!" Sonic said before it hit him, sending him flying across his house."Get out Big." Big left, and went to Shadow's. Shadow went to the door and opened it. He saw Big. "Twik it's time to kill him." Shadow yelled. Twik jumped with two uzis and fired at him. Big absorbed the bullets and fired them 2 inches away from him. Shadow turned into Hyper Shadow and fired Chaos Spears. That's what started killing him. Blood splatterd and Big fell to the ground. "Thankies." Big said before dieing. "Sould we have told him that froggy was here?" Twik asked. "No it was was fun." Shadow said.

**_The End_**

**I do not own any of the sonic characters, including big. If i did i would beat the crap outta him. I also don't own twik who is owned by SarTheHedgehog. Thankyou and good night**


End file.
